A Letter to the Lost

This is a letter to the angels watching over us.

The friend gone before we had a chance to do all the things we talked about.

The grandparent that lived a long and beautiful life and needed to rest.

The parent that left their broken child with a life full of advice and wise words.

The pet that was every Childs best friend.

Whoever it is that may be watching over us tonight, help us understand why you had to go.

I believe the hardest part about death is the unanswered. Of all of the billions of people on this Earth, why you? Why that day? Answers we will never understand and no matter how many prayers we pray our heart still feels empty without these answers. We will continue to lay in bed and agonize over all of the things we should have, could have or would have done if you were still here.

Its like a period on the end of a sentence. The end. A sharp, abrupt ending to a life just never seems fair. And quite honestly it never will.

The worst part about death is the fact that we have zero control over when or how it will happen. It is inevitable and awful.

So hold us, and tell us that it will be okay...that you're okay.

For whatever reason, I am fully aware of the beauty of heaven, I've never seen it but boy does it sound amazing.

A place we all dream of going yet we still can't find peace when you're gone.

It is confusing and chaotic. Trying to wrap our heads around the whole idea of you being gone just doesn't add up. It only makes us more confused, questioning the good of God and the idea of heaven.

I may be alone in this but my mind and my heart just never seem to agree when I think about you.

My heart knows where you are, how you're doing and why you're there. But my mind gets lost in the idea that someone as great as you wasn't truly done living their life.

There was so much you didn't see, so much I didn't get to say, and so many questions I need to ask.

Only time will heal the broken after a loss as tough as you but I am growing impatient with this pain and don't see an end in sight. It hurts. A pain that can't be fixed with a bandaid or hug or a long night of rest. It just hurts.

Somedays I don't think about you as much, I learn to move forward with my day and smile while thinking about your crazy beautiful life.

Other times I cry. I feel a hollowness in my chest that can't be fixed with anything. It just sits there, heavy and crushing. I will take 10 steps forward and 100 back. It's like clockwork.

So, to all the angels watching over us. Guide us. Hold us tight when we hurt and show us you're okay. Down here, theres a lot of evil. There are a lot of opportunities for us to get lost in our heartbreak and forget all of the good you left. Just let us know you're okay tonight. Anything at all will be just fine.